It’s so funny how sometimes the questions that are just lying there in our heads but demanding an answer are being answered by something so unexpected. Sometimes you feel like giving up and and pondering whether you should or should not, and suddenly out of the blue you get an answer in form of a book, video, a friend and in many cases through indications by nature that you shouldn’t. I know at any point of time you definitely have felt something like this. Just to cite another example consider you want to open a business of your own and you start thinking how to do that ? What to do ? Where should I start ?.
And a few days later you find yourself browsing Thug Life videos on YouTube and and see Donald Trump in there. Now consider you don’t know who Trump is, what is the next thing you do?. Naturally you search who Trump is and in that description you find the word “Businessman” somewhere and as soon as this happens balls start rolling and you start learning about what his business is, how he created his business and so on.
So what was my question this time ?
The question I had this time was simple but this is a question everyone asks themselves at one point or the other and it was What defines A Man ?. Who is a real man or more importantly what is a real man ?.
Now one thing I really need to make clear here is that, here when I say Man, I am not necessarily talking about the Male embodiment of a human being. That’s why I said what is a real man?. Here I am not talking about guys per se, I am talking about that aspect inside a human being irrespective of a being a male or female, that portrays strength; man woman alike.
Now there are different answers from whole lot of people as always for this. One gentleman I heard saying “A man is one who doesn’t feel pain”, now I don’t like saying this but as soon as I heard this I felt like pinching the bejesus out of him and see whether what he said was true, but I didn’t give in to such a nice notion. Another nice gentleman I encountered at the gym after an “intense” session of cardio went ahead and said a man is someone who is big, burly and has a deep voice. For the life of me I don’t remember why after hearing this I immediately thought of an Ostrich, because well its big, it is burly and it has a deep voice.
How did my answer came then ?
Well after listening to such nice quality answers I decided, well its better I wait and maybe I will come across an answer at a later point of time that actually appeals to me. A day later I hear my dad’s voice calling me saying,”Dude !! Get over here John Cena and AJ Styles’ fight is up on WWE”. Now when father calls you to see a WWE match you just don’t deny it, and oddly enough John Cena in his conversation with AJ said something that appealed to me. I can tell you his entire statement right now but out of building up suspense let’s take the statement in parts.
#1 Humble enough to admit that You were wrong
In the first part of his statement he said “A part of being a man is to admit when you are wrong”. Now this is such a simple statement to understand but with what we see its one of the most difficult statement to practice. We tend to find so many people in and around our circle who even when they know they are wrong, due to some misplaced sense of ego just won’t have the courage to take up the responsibility of their misdoings. What indirectly they are doing is refusing to accept they are human beings. Because if you are human you are bound to mess up things sometimes, there’s just no way around this. What makes you a Man is being humble enough to openly and boldly state that you were wrong somewhere.
#2 Being able to apologize
In the next part of his statement he said “A part of being a man is being able to apologize”. Now this statement is nothing but a follow up statement to the previous statement. Saying I am sorry, again openly, boldly by looking into your counterpart’s eyes can never be an action that reduces your self worth when you understand that you were wrong and you need to own it. Some people very intelligently say I don’t like to say it, I like to show it.
Also read : SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE A BROKEN SPIRIT ?
In Hindu culture when we talk about Karma, its not just what we do with our physical body that counts, its also what we think and what we say. And when what we think, say and do are in sync we say we are in the good zone of karma. If you are ready to do something to apologize what is it that is stopping you from moving your tongue to speak ?. Most of the time when you are with someone you really love just thinking and saying how sorry you are will lead them to believe you, you actually won’t have to do anything at all.
#3 To be able to push back
The last part of his statement and probably the most important one defining what is a real man actually, was “If someone crosses the line and pushes you, YOU PUSH BACK”. Now I can’t stress this enough as to how important and how powerful this statement is if you want people to respect you and your opinions and what is even more important is to understand what this statement actually means. When I say push back I am not encouraging any kind of physical violence.
There are many ways of pushing back much more effectively than by using physical means. In most cases this can be done by just withholding something you are giving very readily. Because the basic nature of a human being is, he won’t realize the importance of something which he or she has in abundance and if you are the supplier of that abundant thing, the most simple and the most effective way to push back is to withdraw that supply and allow them to realize the importance of what they are taking for granted.
This is a very justified use of inner strength, the most practical way of offensive defense. Because if you do not have the spine to do that you will be a push over. Forget about getting other’s respect for you, they will very easily just use you and walk over you.
So What is a real man ?
So the The Thing About Being A Man is be very open, very bold and very vocal in accepting your mistakes and apologizing for your mishaps. Have the body of a giant if possible, but have a heart as soft as a flower. Be loving, be exceptionally kind, be tolerant yes be tolerant but know your space, know your line and if someone steps over that line and pushes you, be a fierce ball of fire and push back.
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Chao for now 🙂